Good Day (or as it might be, Good Evening).

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Lord Dashwood. I'm a burlesque performer and I'm delighted that you have dropped by to see me. Would you like a cup of tea, perhaps? Or a cake? I can get cook to bake something if you'd like. No? Are you sure? Well please do let me know if there's anything at all I can do to make you comfortable. 

Please feel free to wander around as you wish and learn about me and my burlesque routines and all that sort of thing. I'll be downstairs trying to persuade cook to make me a giant fondant fancy.

Main image photo by Nandi/Skie Inset image Dan Sumption